August 11, 2008

I'm going to Nursing School!

And judging by this picture I will be doing lines of cocaine in my sexy nurses cap. She looks torn. Do I snort it? Stick it up my nose? Hmmmm.....Maybe I will stick it up my patient's ass and get a good anal temp? She also looks like she is having a hard time reading the results. Don't burst a blood vessel, honey. Those are NUMBERS. They tell you what the temp IS. Just follow the red LINE.

So, I start on my venture into nursing on August 18th. I have quite a journey ahead of me. You see, when I first went to college I was only concerned with having fun. And, quite frankly, I was damn good at it. I could have given a rat's hairy ass about my school work. When I buckled down and studied, I did exceptionally well. All A's and a few B's. But what is killing my GPA is all my withdrawals. Oh, the big fat W's that haunt my past. W's, WF's. I hate them. I liked to register for classes, then decide later on that I didn't like my schedule. So, I withdrew from THOUSANDS of classes.

So, I have decided to return to school in pursuit of an academic fresh start. That's code for YOU SCREWED UP THE FIRST TIME, HERE'S YOUR LAST CHANCE MORON. DON'T SCREW IT UP AGAIN.

I get it, I get it.

So, I start anew in a few days. 4 years of glorious schooling with people half my age. Well, technically only 2 because I will apply to the school of nursing then. Basically, nursing school is VERY competitive these days. There is a HUGE shortage of nurses, but there is even more of a shortage of PROFESSORS. You can't train new nurses if there are not any teachers.

I read an article last week that last year 61,000 WELL qualified nursing students were turned down to nursing schools nation wide because there are not enough teachers. That's sad, really. And motivating. To get in to the school of my choice, I have to make all A's in my math and sciences. Not that hard right? Nah. Well, I have to admit I am a little bit nervous. I am a smart girl, don't get me wrong....but I have to work at it. It takes hard work for me to make all A's. I am so jealous of the students who barely have to blink to make an A. It's sooooooooo not fair. Of course, growing up my Dad always made me feel better telling me things like...."You will be a better person because you have to WORK for it!" The pep talk worked for a minute, but damn....I would LOVE to be one of the natural students who put in no effort. So sue me!

The idea of making an A without an effort sounds very appealing to me, mainly because I am a professional lazy ass.

Not anymore, my pet. I am a serious ADULT LEARNER/NON-TRADITIONAL student. I have my backpack, my MacBook (thank GOD for student loans!) and 3-Ring notebooks filled with "college" ruled paper.

Watch out world, here I come! And I KNOW how to take MEAN anal temp!

4 comments:

Yvonne said...

You GO GIRL!!! Hilarious description! Love your blog!

Cecelia---Sis---Mom said...

Good Luck!! My Mom is a nurse and she loves it. We were just joking about her graduation picture in the starched white uniform and white cap. LOL She still has it.

Cece

glitzen said...

You are a funny writer! I can relate to how you describe your college experience..quite a bit.

Putabuttononit

Sharla said...

You are so funny! I can relate to a lot of your post, not that I'm going back to school, or gonna be a nurse, but your style of writing..it sounds like me talking!! I was married to a cop for 11 yrs, and shamefully, I did laugh (just a little) at the video in the post below. Hopefully she didn't get hurt too bad!